Sunday, May 28, 2006


Feeling very grouchy after a phone conversation with my mother.

I previously had to tell her bluntly, "You can come for 7-10 days after the baby is born." She was expecting to come out for a full two weeks. I figured if my mom comes out for 10 days, then M-i-l for 10 days, that still gives Dh and I 2 weeks to get used to being a family before he goes back to work.

Once I said the 7-10 days, her next tactic was to suggest coming out early "to help me and get to know the area" because according to her I am suddenly going to become immobile once I am 39 weeks. I was very tempted to ask if the 10 days started ticking once she arrived, even if it meant her 10 days were up 2 days after the baby was born, but I do still have self control! I bit my tongue and told her we intend to stick to the original plan of calling her when I go into labor and she will get here as soon as she can. She was obviously dissatisfied with my response and asked me to talk it over with Dh.

Which I did. I broached the subject with, "I have already made up my mind, but I told my mother I would discuss it with you, so here it is." He had the same smart aleck response I did. Ha ha

Today my mom asked if I had talked her idea over with Dh. I told her I had and that we are sticking with our original plan. She was very manipulative throughout the entire phone conversation and was trying to make me feel guilty for letting her stay "only" 10 days. She said, "I am willing to come for 2 weeks, but since you're only letting me stay 7-10 days [I know perfectly well she will not stay only 7 days, so I'm sure she just said that to let me know it bugged her], I am more than willing to come out early," and, "If you change your mind at any time, even if it's the day before your due date, I will come out." She brought it up at least four times in a 30-minute phone call.

[She also asked me about those &#$*$% pills again, and I said, "I am taking my prenatals." She was silent, and then I changed the subject. *#$&$(%]

It was all I could do not to snap at her. I am the one having the baby, so shouldn't I get the say? Why will she not respect my decisions? I understand she is excited out of her head about having a grandchild, but I am so sick of her blatant attempts at manipulation. I am starting to feel so much resentment at the way she is acting, I am worried I will blow up at her about something when she is here. Like if she starts back in on having the baby in our room, or what position the baby should sleep in.

I love my mother, but there is a reason I live across the country from her. I am already worried how we are all going to get along for 10 days. I have tried very hard to be polite but firm about the decisions Dh and I have made about having the baby, and I have really been quite successful. (I swear!) I feel, though, that I am the only one trying to be mature and respectful, and that my mom will say just about anything to make me see things her way.


Mostly painless contractions about every 8-10 minutes.

[If you made it to the end of this post, you get a gold star for niceness! Sorry for the long complaint!!!!]


Dooneybug said...

I found your site a few days ago and have been following along. We are due right around the same time.

I hear you on the whole mother issue. Mine also drives me insane and I live 1,300 miles away from her. Luckily, she's told me that she will only come out to visit for a week!

Good luck with your relatives visiting, that can be a lot of stress. And it sounds like you're gonna have that baby soon!!

alfredsmom said...

(yeah! I get a gold star!)

Sorry about your mother being so pushy. That would definetly add stress an already stressful time. Hopefully here staying with yall will go well. If not? Have DH tell her to leave!