Book Review: The Plot to Save Socrates

The Plot to Save Socrates by Paul Levinson: Not recommended.

This book could have been really fantastic. Time travel, ancient Greeks & Romans, Alexandria, I mean dude it was all there. Intellectually, the book is actually pretty good. Intelligent, philosophical. A couple nice plot twists. However. Levinson's writing is so spare you feel like you're reading some kind of graphic novel -- without the pictures. He includes almost no descriptions. His characters are extremely wooden. His sole female character (who every male character is in love with - give me a BREAK) is so poorly written you just have to laugh. To keep from crying. Ultimately, it failed to satisfy -- extremely disappointing as it had so much potential. Perhaps Levinson should co-author with someone who can flesh out his intriguing plot.

Just Call Me Martha

Well apparently all y'all are low-rise pants lovers. That's okay. We can still be friends. Ha ha Really all my pants are low-rise too, I just like to complain. I will say there is a definite risk with higher-rise pants of looking like you have an enormous butt. All my shirts are pretty long though, so it minimizes that risk.

Here I am in my new jeans. You like how I'm totally (trying) to do some model pose? Ha ha

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I made these coasters! I'm so proud of them. The idea and templates are from Martha Stewart Living. They were quite easy. Just glue felt onto cork board, then trace the design and cut it out. You just use white glue and scissors. We actually needed these because the coasters we had on the coffee table were stone and Baby E loved to bang them on the table (adding many lovely dings to the wood surface).

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Dh likes to make random threats, especially when I am rude assert myself. Here is an example:

Dh: I'm going to throw that lantern away. (The lantern that's sitting on our dresser waiting waiting waiting for me to hang it up - 1.5 months & counting - I have to get the ladder to hang it up!)

Me: Oh, you're bloody well not going to throw the lantern away.

Dh: You wanna watch me? I'll throw it away right now.

In this photo, he is in the act of making one of his ridiculous threats. I'm rather fond of them.

The Misses Section

The other day I went to Ross Dress for Less in a fit of frustration. I needed new jeans. My butt is bigger since having Baby E. Don't smirk. What I mean is, I weigh 7 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant, and I don't want to lose it. So the result of gaining 7 pounds is none of my pants fit right anymore. My smallest I can't even zip up. (I'm saving them for a denim rag rug.) I really only had one pair that fit in the waist and hips and they are too long. Which is a problem right now because of all the crappy rain. Bleh Oregon. Have I mentioned I'm sick of this blasted rain?!?!?

Anyway. So I went to Ross Dress for Less because why lie? that is where I shop for clothes most of the time. I love me a good bargain and I don't mind digging to find that pair of Nine West shoes on sale for $10. I have always shopped in Juniors, because that's where my size has always been. The Juniors section this time, well, it annoyed me. All the jeans were so ugly and trendy. With like, big fake rhinestones (???) And really dramatic faded spots. I just wanted regular jeans that I can wear every day. Is that so much to ask?

So with some trepidation I ventured into the Misses section. I think because this Ross is new, it's well stocked. Usually the Ross Misses section is full of tapered leg jeans that went out of style seventeen years ago. But I was in luck. They had some bootcut pants in my size. (I know straight is in, but I just don't go for that.) I found some jeans I thought would work. I tried them on. I fell in love. I wear them a LOT now.

Because here's the thing that annoyed me the most about Juniors jeans. They are all so freaking low rise. You basically have to weigh 100 pounds to not have a muffin top in those things. My new Soho jeans hit me just below the belly button and I love that. And they are SOOOO comfy. Perfect for throwing on with a Shade top and crawling around with Baby E! I also bought the Ludlow cut, they're a bit tighter, good for going out. And because I bought them at Ross, ha ha! they only set me back $25 a piece.

I should have checked out the Misses section eight months ago. It would have saved me a lot of annoyance.

Five Years!!!

Man, have I been slacking with the blogging recently. I haven't checked my blogroll in 4-ever. Nor have I updated. Since April 13, let's see, here's what's happened:

1. We bought a video camera.
   
2. Dh turned 30.
   
3. Our five year anniversary was yesterday!
   
4. Baby E learned to dance overnight.
   
5. My friend Lissa had her baby.
   
6. Dh finally finally got some accidental death coverage.

Re 1: Not that I have uploaded any video. So #1 was basically just a tease.

Re 2: we were all very low-key on Dh's birthday, as per his request. He came home just after 3 pm, used some vacation time because he suddenly realized at work, I don't want to work today!!! So that was nice. We got to spend some family time. Dh requested takeout from the delicious Indian restaurant, and he left at 7 to play basketball. That's what he wanted to do. I got him a maple bar and stuck a candle in it, again as per his request. That's not quite the thing I would think of for his birthday. I also got him a Rocky Road caramel apple from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory because he loves them so much. His major present I gave to him the next day.

Re 3: the next day being our anniversary. I spent a lot of time this week putting together a book for Dh. I secretly emailed all his family and many of his friends asking for their favorite story or memory of Dh. They finally all emailed me back (by Friday - the day AFTER his birthday, despite my requests that they respond by Wednesday) and then I combined it all, added pictures & photos, formatted it, printed it off and put it in a binder in protective sheets. It turned out really well, if I do say so myself. Some people put some really funny stories, some contributed really sweet memories. And Dh seemed to really appreciate it. But anyway, for our anniversary, well we bought the camera that day, then it was gorgeous weather, so Dh went fishing for a few hours. Then we went to a nice restaurant for dinner (yay for a real date!) and that's where we exchanged gifts. Dh bought me a fabulous gift - diamond earrings! I love them! They are so sparkly. They are a bit small, 1/4 ct, but very good quality. I know how much they cost. (Dh can never keep that kind of information to himself.) Quite alot. So it's okay that they're small, I've got small ears anyway. Ha ha So then we went home and cuddled and watched a video. It was a lovely day.

I really can't believe I've been married for five years. I don't feel old enough to have been married that long. I think we both look pretty much the same. Dh doesn't have a goatee anymore.

Five years and one day ago.

Re 4: Baby E really did just suddenly learn how to dance. I went to the hospital yesterday morning to visit Lissa (see #5) and when I came home, Dh said, "Watch this," and started making a beat with his mouth. And Baby E started bopping! It was hilarious! Dh did it all day long and Baby E kept be-bopping. It's what finally made us decide to get the video camera (we've been considering it for...oh, ten and a half months). This morning Dh couldn't remember the beat he made yesterday. Bit of a problem. Ha ha He tested many different songs out on Baby E and found she will dance to: Avril Lavigne, Bollywood pop, and Madonna. So. Her taste in music leaves a little something to be desired. Ha ha

Re 5: Lissa's baby is very cute and now that he is here, I think she is okay with the fact that he is her third boy. She is desperate for a girl. I think seeing Baby E was actually rather torturous for her while she was pregnant.

Re 6: Dh agreed to get life insurance when he bought his motorcylce. People, that was a year ago. I remember, because I was really pregnant, so I couldn't even go on it. I have never been on that bloody motorcycle! We agreed (okay, I told him) that life insurance was the condition on which he could get a motorcycle. That way if he died I would at least be able to pay the bills while I sank into a deep depression. Well, turns out his dangerous lifestyle is really going to cost us. No, not the motorcycle. The rock climbing. That sport he does maybe twice a year raises his life insurance rates by seven hundred dollars per year. Aargh!! He opted against that. He got some accidental death coverage, and then is going to find some life insurance with an exemption for rock climbing (i.e., if he died rock climbing it wouldn't cover that.) I blame his brother longroper. Longroper is insanely into rock climbing, and got Dh doing it, and if not for longroper Dh could have a $500,000 policy for a mere $450 a year!!!!!

So anyway, I have lots of new photos on my flickr account, go check it out if ya care to see many, many pics of the adorable Baby E. But here's a couple you don't have to click out for:

Baby E "helps" me unload the dishwasher. I love these overalls. I call them her train conductor overalls.

Don't try to separate a girl and her sippy cup.

Eating some delicious grapes. That I cut into tiny pieces. This is what I do for the little bambino I love so much. She is a major self-feeder, and I totally encourage it, because hey that way I can maybe eat at the same time too. Or...do the crossword. Usually I opt for the crossword.

Adventures with Petroleum Jelly

Early morning yesterday Baby E woke up at 3, 4:40, 5, and 6. Then finally at 7 for the day. I was UNHAPPY. And she was very clingy all day. I couldn't eat or shower until her morning nap because she would sob if I put her down at all. She keeps standing up in her crib during naps and night, and then doesn't know how to get back down. I don't know though why she is waking up enough to stand up in the first place. Dh was at a training conference, came home early (4 pm!) and I was only too thrilled to hand over the little one to him so I could go to Safeway by myself.

When I got home from Safeway, Dh and the baby were in her room. He was dozing on the floor, she was standing up, leaning on his back, making cute sounds. And there, on the floor, was an open container of petroleum jelly. I yelped, and grabbed the container. The jelly had some baby finger-sized gouges. And Baby E's face looked suspiciously moisturized! "Dh! She ate petroleum jelly!" Dh's defense was 1) he is really tired (admittedly, he did get up to start his day at 2:30 am!) and 2) shouldn't her room be the one place Baby E can roam free? I said didn't he mean the one place he could let her crawl around while he slept on the floor? He sheepishly grinned. I figured she was fine, but as Dh is the more nervous parent, he asked me to look online to make sure petroleum jelly can't damage babies. Did you know if you eat a lot of petroleum jelly, it can have a laxative effect? Baby E is not at risk, based on the amount missing, she probably ate maybe 1/2 teaspoon.

JDub came over with her little sis and we had fun gabbing for a couple hours. We had to pause our conversation at 8:30 because she had to watch The Office. I don't watch much tv,* but it was really quite funny.

Last night went much better, Baby E only woke up once at 5:30 (which Dh handled), then up for the day at 6:30 (which Dh also handled). I got up at 7:30. The baby's still being clingy, but with a full night's sleep I handle that much better. This morning I ate breakfast while Baby E pulled apart a huge stack of newspapers. We paused every so often to smile adoringly at one another. She is such a sweet girl.

*Mostly because we don't have Tivo and I don't like being constricted by "Oh, I can't hang out that night, Heroes is on" or whatever. If I had a Tivo, well that would probably be a bad thing. What Dh & I like to do instead is just wait until whatever show comes out on DVD, and then rent the entire season and watch it at our leisure. This means we cannot read the Life section of the newspaper while 24 is on, lest we accidentally learn who dies. Ha ha Plus, this way, no commercials. Which I HATE.

Easter Sunday

We spent Easter Sunday with Rainbow & her family. Good times. However, I'm tired and cannot figure out how to get the Auto Red-Eye to work on my photo program, so Baby E looks like a demon.

Baby E channels the Easter bunny and looks dang cute!
J cuddles up with Pumpkin. Possibly the most annoying dog EVER. But J is cute!
R pretends to be a chill 3-year-old. (We're not fooled!!!)
T is unable to just frickin smile for the camera.
V channels Violet from The Incredibles (she's alarmingly good at that) and chooses not to smile. Actually, I think she might be trying to smile in this picture. Ha ha

Serious Girl

Mom, sometimes I just don't feel like smiling.

Road Trip

These pictures are a few weeks old, but I don't care. They are from our trip to eastern Washington. The weather was gorgeous so I was able to put Baby E in her darling spring outfits. (And sorry in advance for the terrible lighting.)

Baby E inspects Uncle Mark's shirt.

Baby E was really cranky this weekend so we gave her the binky. Normally she only uses it to fall asleep at her naps and bedtime.

Real Moms...

So, ah, I just remembered today that Dooneybug tagged me for the Real Moms meme like 5 years ago and I never did it. Oops. Well, better late than never, eh?

Real moms gladly offer their cheeks for open-mouth kisses from their babies, even if said open mouths have half-chewed, soggy Cheerios within.

Which is a big deal for me, because I hate hate HATE to be dirty. According to my mother, even as a toddler I hated being dirty and would hold up my hands and whine until she cleaned me. I'm not completely prissy about it, I mean, I go camping, but I might be the cleanest camper ever. I don't think I could mud wrestle. I just couldn't do it.

Anyway, Dh is fishing with T of course, despite light rain off and on all day. I took Baby E to Michaels & Target between her naps and to Old Navy & Children's Place after her pm nap. She's a good sport. A lady at Target told me Baby E is the cutest baby she has ever seen, so I love that lady. And a (male) employee at Michaels used the "How old is she?" line and tried to chat me up. *Rolling my eyes* I don't like it when guys try to hit on me by using my baby!!!! Comment on my cute butt, or something, please, but not the baby. Ha ha I'm kidding. Well, not about the baby part, it does actually bug me.

Children's Place was having a nice sale, so I stocked up on shirts for Baby E in sizes 18 mos, 2T & 3T. And suddenly felt a strange stirring - I thought about having another baby, and didn't start to hyperventilate. In fact, it sound nice. I wanted it. There is this little fear in the back of my mind - the thought of having another miscarriage. It makes me want to cry. I don't know how well I'd do if that happened again. I'm trying to trust God, since I know He's watching out for me. I felt that so strongly when I miscarried in 2005, and I know that at least part of what He wanted me to learn from that is that I'm not in control! He is. I have a hard time remembering that.

Ugh, when is Dh coming home? He's making shish kebabs tonight, and I'm starving! Stupid fishing! Of course I can't just eat something in the meantime, that would be too logical!

Fishing in Cuernavaca

Katie meets Baby E, June 2006.

First of all, I am so excited for my dear friend Katie -- she just got engaged!!! Woo-hoo! So go on over and tell her congratulations, because she rocks. She is getting married at the end of June, and I know she's going to love being married.

I co-hosted a baby shower last night at my house. It was quite a success, let me tell you. Good turnout, lots of yummy food, and I even sort of enjoyed the games (I hate games at baby showers, but my friend - the pregnant girl - wanted them, so I made the co-host plan them. Ha ha) By the time everyone left and I had finished cleaning up, I was ex-haust-ed. In no small part because I stupidly stayed up late Wednesday night hanging out with JDub. I fell into bed and slept soundly...until 2:15 am. Someone was banging on the door.

Well, of course it was T, my brother-in-law, come for the weekend. But Dh was sleeping on the couch, so that he would hear T knocking and let him in. When I went into the living room, Dh was sleeping peacefully on the couch as T continued to bang on the front door. Silly Dh. If only I could sleep so deeply at any time.

I woke him up: Dh! T's here!

Dh: Huh?

Me: T's here! He's banging on the door! For like five minutes!

Dh (confused): So?

Me (exasperated): So, go let him in!

Dh takes a bit to wake up and make sense. Ha ha And I certainly wasn't going to let T in, as I was standing there in my skivvies.

Dh and T are off fishing right now. Tomorrow they are...going fishing. If Sunday wasn't the Sabbath, they would be going fishing. I am totally married to a redneck.

I took Baby E to the park for the first time on Wednesday (we've been having the most gorgeous spring weather this week! Yay!) and she enjoyed the swing, though she was a bit tentative. Naturally I forgot the camera. Oops.

We laid on a blanket in the backyard yesterday for a while. I'm sneaky - I know Baby E won't crawl on the grass, so I can easily contain her on the blanket. Whereas in the house, she goes everywhere. That did mean though that I couldn't do anything else, because she fully expected me to entertain her and feed her Gerber Puffs the entire time.

Today I have a lovely sore throat as punishment for enjoying the lovely outdoors. Bah. My allergies are so much worse since I moved to Oregon.*

Now if you can believe this, I am going to roast a chicken for the first time in my life tonight. My mom is not much of a cook, she'd be the first to tell you. So my cooking ability is self-taught. As such, it is erratic. I avoid recipes that sound hard, even if they are actually easy. Someone has to tell me it's easy, then I try it and feel sheepish for avoiding it all these years. So yes, a roast chicken tonight, with Moroccan Spice Rub. Also Spring Risotto from the new cookbook I just bought: Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker For Two.


*And by worse, I mean a bit inconvenient. Not like my poor friend Rainbow, who literally cannot open the windows all summer or her eyes start weeping and her nose stuffs completely up.