Not Good

Ace has been sleeping incredibly poorly since returning home from the hospital. Last Tuesday night was the worst - I got about three hours of (interrupted) sleep. Wednesday morning I took him to his followup with his pediatrician and mentioned the sleep issues. The doctor cheerfully informed me that the steroids they gave him in the hospital cause hyperactivity for 7-10 days and that combined with the stress of the hospital visit means he won't be sleeping much. I think I just sat there with my mouth open for a minute.

I started crying in the parking lot, and called Dh. "The doctor just told me the worst news ever," I said, choking on tears (please remember how much sleep I'd had). Dh felt a momentary panic - did Ace have cancer or something? No, it was just me being melodramatic. But I was freaking out. I knew I cannot function on three hours a night. Dh talked me back from the ledge - he told me to forget about cooking, forget about cleaning, to just focus on getting through this time. I took several deep breaths and calmed down.

Since then, each night has been a little better than the one before. I've been doing whatever it took to get Ace to sleep - letting him sleep in the swing, in bed with me, anything. Saturday night he woke and nursed three times, but spent the night in his crib! I was so excited - perhaps the end was in sight? Perhaps we could get going on sleep training again?

No. Last night was awful. Ace went to bed like a dream, so I congratulated myself - much too early. He woke half an hour later. I decided, Tough, kid, I know there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. So I tried to let him cry it out. An hour and fifteen minutes later, I gave up. I nursed him to sleep, then let him get nice and zonked out on my bed, then carried him to his own crib. That was about 10:30. He woke at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 4:45, and 6:15. Between his 2:30 and 4:45 wakings, I lay in bed awake, unable to sleep (curse you, insomnia!!!). At that last waking, I gave up and brought him into bed with me. He got what he wanted. He snuggled right in and slept for three hours, nursing briefly at 8. I was so tired I was able to sleep with him right against me (normally I can't - he's noisy and he wiggles). Lucky for me Miss E didn't mind playing in her crib for an extra hour.

Now while Ace was in the hospital, he hardly nursed. My milk level went way down. So at first I was kind of glad he was waking so much, to nurse around the clock every two hours, so that my milk would come back. But as of yesterday, my milk level is finally back to normal. And I KNOW he's not hungry. He just wants to nurse. All the freaking time. I mean, half an hour after bedtime? Give me a break. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been constantly on the verge of tears all day just from sheer exhaustion. I've got five loads of dirty laundry waiting to be done. Dh's parents are coming this weekend, but my house is trashed. And Ace is still resisting all naps. This really, really sucks.