My husband has been away on business this week. Monday I didn't want to go anywhere, no one was coming around, my husband was in another state. I only nominally got dressed, and wore no makeup.
So I finally had to admit it. I don't actually wear makeup just for myself. I wear it for other people.
I have maintained to myself, for years, that I wear makeup for me. But it's not true. I wear makeup basically every day, I make sure to check my blush status before Dh gets home from work.* I'm not sure why. Dh sees me in the morning, completely makeup-less. Darling delusional that he is, he says I look the same with or without it. Sometimes he guesses I'm wearing makeup when I'm not, or the reverse, so I think he honestly can't tell the difference. Not sure how that's possible. Ha ha
I guess I just don't like admitting that I am insecure enough to need makeup when interacting with others. But I have actually gotten better. About a month ago, I went to the store with no eye makeup on! And a couple weeks ago, I went to church, and was half-an-hour into the 3-hour service, when I realized that I had put on all my makeup except mascara. And despite having the mascara in the diaper bag, I was just too lazy (and, um, secure?) to go to the bathroom and put it on.
*Two of my brothers and I inherited my mother's fair, fair skin. Which also features NO color in the cheeks. Fortunately, I have blush at my disposal. No such luck for my brothers, suckas!