In Which I Realize I'm a Mother

We leave for Florida tomorrow, and I'm not really ready. No problem, though -- I can pack for a week-long vacation in about 20 minutes. Dh finds my ability amazing. I don't really overpack either -- I might bring one or two outfits I never end up wearing. Dh is the Great Overpacker. He prepares for EVERY contingency. "Well, if it snows while we're in Florida, I'll sure be glad I brought my snow boots!" Okay, not really, but he way overpacks. Every time. We zip over to the coast, I have a dainty overnight bag, he has a giant duffel bag stuffed with six outfits and three pairs of shoes.

Due to stressers in Dh's life, he didn't figure out what he wanted for Christmas until Saturday. He realized that sportsy or outdoorsy stuff he wants/needs he buys for himself. But clothes he can never seem to justify. His taste in clothing has expensified in the past few years, but his ability to spend actual money on clothes has not. He wishes he still liked the ugly Old Navy t-shirts that cost $5 on clearance. But alas, they are too ghetto for him now. (Can I just say yay?!) So he asked for nice clothes for Christmas. I have $100 to spend on one outfit for him. I was super excited, because shopping for clothes is something I can get into, whereas shopping for halogen flashlights and pocket knives kinda makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

I've been busy shopping for my many brothers & sisters (four of them will be in Florida for the holiday), so haven't bought his presents yet. I did get his stocking stuffers (we have to set an allowance for stockings, otherwise we stuff each other's full of expensive little things). Today, when Baby E emerges from her morning nap, we are going to the mall. Now, because we are going to be flying across the country, we decided we would leave each other's presents here in Oregon, and then have a second Christmas when we get back. Double the fun. (Plus, I asked for Burberry London, and I can't risk that breaking on a cross-country flight!!!!) He told me this morning if I don't have time to shop this morning, I can just do it after Christmas since we're not opening each other's gifts until then anyway. I thought, No way Jose.

Baby E is on a lovely routine now: wake at 4:30-5 am for a 20-minute nurse. Go straight back to bed and sleep until 8-8:30 am. Wake up happy and ready for the day. At 10, take a 1 hr nap. Nurse, then we usually take off for adventures (aka errands). She falls asleep in the car around 1, naps for maybe 30-45 mins. Nurse around 2. Play, roll around, bonk head. Repeat until 3-3:30. Take 2-hr nap (I usually fit in a 1-hr nap here). Up around 5. Nurse, play. Bed at 6-6:30 pm.

Last night I was watching an old episode of CSI -- a woman was dead in her living room, in front of her baby boy who was crying in the playpen. I thought how horrible that would be, for something to happen to me and no one around to take care of Baby E for hours and hours. I started to feel anxious and I thought I hope that never happens to Baby E. Not, "hopefully I never get murdered," or, "hopefully I don't get killed in front of my own baby," but hopefully my daughter never has to cry and cry for hours with no one to take care of her. It was weird to realize that that is what I care most about. That I care about this little person more than myself. So I guess I really am a mom.

Baby E Gets Into the Christmas Spirit

"I love presents!"

Timber!!!!!

Note the red eyes. Sometimes she cries when she topples over. What a baby, huh.

All better!

Don't read Keeper of the Keys. It wasn't even worth it to find out what happened to the main characters. SO lame.

I made the most delicious Old-Fashioned Sugar Cookies last night, recipe courtesy of MSL. Now the challenge becomes "Don't Eat Them All By Friday Morning." We'll see how I do. Good: I gave some away to the guy who fixed Dh's laptop. Bad: But I had one first thing this morning before my cereal even.

The Thirteenth Tale and other book-related crap plus some sex-related crap just for good measure

A thank you to Pamela Milkweed for recommending The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. It starts slow - the writing is a bit choppy, but then Setterfield gets into the flow of things, and the story starts to pick up. I really enjoyed it. As one of the reviewers on the back of the book said - this is a book for those who love reading. Us nerdy girls who spent our teenage years curled up in our rooms with Pride & Prejudice and the like. Or is it We nerdy girls???

I've just read a couple of mysteries that were fun - quite different from what I normally read. Die Trying by Lee Child and One False Move by Harlan Coben. Die Trying is...think James Bond, but without the "I have to sleep with every female in a fifty-mile radius" mentality. Wonderfully unrealistic fight scenes, quite entertaining, good story. One False Move is full of really lame cliches - lots of bad metaphors - at first I was like, this guy has to be kidding, but then you give in to it and it's a fun ride. Another good story. I read them because Kate Atkinson, whom I love, said those were the two authors whose mysteries she reads.

I have a bunch of requests put in at the library (Snow Flower & the Secret Fan, Baby Catcher, The Book of Fate, and many more), just waiting...waiting...for someone to return their book so I can take a crack! In the meantime I'm reading Keeper of the Keys by Perri O'Shaughnessy, which I have to say is badly written. However, I foolishly read just enough to want to know what happens to the two main characters, so here I am, suffering through bad grammar and lots of complaining about LA traffic.

And I'm just gonna lay it all out there, because eh, why not? I went to the doctor because sex still hurts and unfortunately the report is I am completely healthy & normal. My problem is my estrogen level is so low due to bfing that apparently I am experiencing atrophy "like a little menopausal woman" in the doctor's words. Ha ha He was...kind of funny. And I don't mean that as an insult. But anyway, girls who have not yet begun childbearing, just something to be aware of. I had never heard of atrophy due to low levels of estrogen. I am just going to suck it up. I'm not willing to use an estrogen cream because it would get into my milk. So. I was hoping the doctor would look around down there and say, "Oh yes, I see what the problem is - there's a problem with the (insert obscure body part here)! We'll just (insert simple out-patient procedure here), and you'll be right as rain!" No such luck.

In other personal health topics (but I think some of ya'll'll (<--check that one out!) find this interesting), my testosterone level is really low. This is both bad & good. Bad because it means my sex drive is kind of in the crapper. Good because I hardly ever have to shave now! Ha ha

Baby's Gettin' Big

The first picture was taken when Baby E was less than a week old - the second at 6 months.

And in case you were wondering, in the second shot - no, Baby E's foot was not supposed to be in the shot. Baby E, however, had other plans.

More Photos!

Check out these angry eyes. Kinda freaky.
Oops. She blinked!
Says Baby E, "I love this swing!"
Baby E's first Christmas tree. We got a little one because we won't actually be here for Christmas. We're going to Florida! Woo-hoo!

Photo Orgy!

Our first Christmas as a real family. Yeah yeah we were a family when it was just Dh and me, but whatever. NOW we're a REAL family.
Baby E and I goof around.
A couple of weeks ago it was SO cold. (And by cold, I mean 34 degrees. What can I say. I've lived in western Oregon for almost 5 years. I'm a pansy.) So anyway, the point is, Baby E needed to be protected from the elements! Good thing we had this fantastic little hat! You can't see them, but she's also wearing matching mittens.
She's getting so darn big. Meh.
I made this sweater.

6 months!

Baby E is 6 months old and I can barely believe it! She is already growing out of lots of her 3-6 months clothes and most of her 6-9 months clothes fit perfectly. She is not very big around, but she is pretty long, so some of her new clothes are even already too short! (Picture unintentional capris.) Her biggest accomplishment is she is a pro at rolling over both ways now. She likes to roll and wriggle until she reaches forbidden objects, like Daddy's schoolwork. She is really making progress at sitting up and can sit up on her own for 5-10 seconds before toppling over. She is also insatiably curious. She wants to grab anything I have, which calls for new levels of speed and dexterity on my part. Ha ha Cell phones, cups, keyboards. All of them appeal to her. She laughs more and uses her angry yelp more often too. She's a funny kid, and SO fun. Dh and I are just eating it all up. She has this one smile she gives me - it's the most adoring look, like she thinks I am just the best thing ever, I wish I could box that smile up and pull it out anytime I'm down. I'd never be sad again. She is a wonderful little girl.

Unfortunately for all of us, we are having trouble with our digital camera, so no new pics. BUT you can view pics of our San Diego trip here.

What have I been up to? Aside from sadly neglecting my blog...I foolishly decided to knit a little sweater vest for my friend's baby boy, due soon. Her shower is the 16th...and I have a ways to go. I'm done with most of the body, but what's left is the finishing. Technically I've never done most of the finishing required in the pattern. So it's going to take a while. Oops. I guess I really have to buckle down...or run out to Gymboree on the 15th. Ha ha

Dh is taking two graduate courses this semester, as I might have mentioned. One final paper is done, the other remains. Between working full-time and keeping up with his homework, he's been really stressed. And this trickles down onto me. Not so much trickles as pours like a mighty avalanche. Frankly, November kinda blew. (Aside from glamorous San Diego trip, of course.) He's looking forward to his classes being over - I don't think he realizes how much I'm looking forward to his classes being over. When he's stressed, he sucks to be around. And because he's been so busy, any breaks for me have been few and far between. Which double sucks. Because as any mom knows, you can't stay at home with a baby all the time and not go a little crazy.

Well, sorry for being out of the blog loop so long! I'll be better, I promise! But now I hear a yummy strata calling my name, so ciao!