Thursday, August 18, 2005

I'm A Bit Ashamed

Dh's 10-year reunion is tomorrow & Saturday. Carisa will be there, which I'm actually pretty excited about, since I haven't seen her since my wedding reception, and I liked living with her. Plus, it means I'll have someone to talk to, since Bartlett's wife and I have never clicked, and I find The Playa's wife nearly intolerable. Harrington will be there and I'm hoping to observe him closely and decide for myself if the infidelity rumors are true.
However, here's the thing. Carisa had a baby like last week. [You might ask, Then why on earth is she attending her 10-year reunion, which is a looong drive from where she lives??? The answer, darling, is that she is a Stevens, and that (according to my dh, when I posed him that very question) is classic Stevens behavior.] The Playa's wife is pregnant with baby #2. And yes, here I am, not pregnant. Obviously not pregnant. The size 26 Lucky jeans I bought off eBay are too big. I'm kind of down about it, when I think about it, which is still not that often at least. I'm a bit ashamed because while I will be feeling bad because all these women are reproducing up a storm, I will not reveal that I feel bad, and I know that they (at least Carisa for sure) will consider me not the non-pregnant girl, but the thin, glamorous girl who doesn't have to budget her money, because she has no kids. Which comforts me and simultaneously makes me feel guilty that I keep doing the lame competitive thing. But I am. And I don't really know how to get rid of it. Besides, I feel like shiz about the whole baby thing.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Oh pal, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. And honestly, I'm not going to tell you to buck up and be thrilled about what's going on becuase I know you would just read that and think that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Becuase, really, I have no idea what you're going through. I'm just sorry.